1 00:00:01,711 --> 00:00:03,420 [Man On TV] Riley Morton coming up now. 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,339 Kelly at second. Started the inning with a double. 3 00:00:06,424 --> 00:00:08,049 That seems like an hour ago. 4 00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:10,594 - Honey, I thought you were gonna take out the garbage. - I am. 5 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:15,056 High fly to right. Hooking, hooking- Foul. [Crowd Jeers] 6 00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:17,809 - Phil. - Yes. Getting it. 7 00:00:17,894 --> 00:00:22,147 Good guys trail 3-2, last of the ninth, one out- 8 00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:25,400 I was- I was gonna get it. [Man Continues On TV] 9 00:00:27,111 --> 00:00:28,778 Dylan. Hey, Mrs. Dunphy. 10 00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:31,406 Um, I'm just waiting for Haley. 11 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,533 Did you ring the bell? I texted. 12 00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:35,577 She said she'd be down in just a minute. 13 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,371 Oh, great. Tell her I said "Hi." I will. 14 00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:40,957 Dylan! D-Money! 15 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:43,168 Chillin' with Dylan the villain! 16 00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:45,295 "D" to the "Y" to the- Hey, Mr. Dunphy. 17 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,504 Hey! Come on in. 18 00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:48,548 You're just in time to catch the end of the game. 19 00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:50,300 Oh, I'm not really a baseball guy. 20 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,801 [Phone Beeps] Haley says "Hi." 21 00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:54,137 I was just being facetious. Come on. I'll catch you up. 22 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:56,932 - [Crowd Cheering On TV] - Sit it. Park it. 23 00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:59,935 [Chuckles] Come on. I don't bite. 24 00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:02,896 [Growls] Kidding. 25 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,564 [Chuckles] I'm kidding. 26 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,733 Okay. See that guy? He's the tying run. 27 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:10,237 Interesting story about him. He's been stuck on second base forever, 28 00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:12,489 and I'm pretty sure he's gonna try and steal third, 29 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,242 which is just a terrible, terrible idea. 30 00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,285 How are you and Haley doing? 31 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:26,586 I wish I could stay home with you and fly toy airplanes. 32 00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:30,173 These aren't toy airplanes, Manny. These are models, and they're very complicated. 33 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:33,426 You wanna fly one of these, you gotta be familiar with airfoil, 34 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,428 drag, lift and thrust- 35 00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:37,472 and these are all principles of aerodynamics. 36 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,266 The box says "12 and up." 37 00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:41,476 What? 38 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,562 You can fly toy planes with Jay next time. 39 00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:46,940 Today you have to spend time with Luke. Why? 40 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,276 Because his mother invited you, so you go. 41 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,361 Family needs to be close. Right, Jay? 42 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,738 I'm pretty sure this is a typo. 43 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:56,783 [Gloria] Men need their hobbies. Manny's father had many hobbies. 44 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,286 Like hiking in the desert, 45 00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,705 that kind of skiing that they drop you from the- 46 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,707 How do you say in English? [Lmitates Rotor Blades] 47 00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:05,750 Helicopter. Yes. 48 00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:08,753 Once, on a dare, he even boxed with an alligator. 49 00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:12,674 "Wrestle." You wrestle- You can't box with alligators. 50 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,594 Are you sure? How would they get the gloves on those little claws? 51 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:18,555 Aren't they like tiny little hands? 52 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,515 No! 53 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,934 Okay, now I forgot what we're talking about. Anyways, 54 00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:25,603 hobbies are important for the men, 55 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:27,605 whether you're risking your life... 56 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:30,734 or flying little planes from a safe distance. 57 00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:35,822 ♪♪ [Dance: Woman Singing] Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing? 58 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,908 Uh, we're just gonna buy some diapers. It'll just take a second. 59 00:02:39,035 --> 00:02:42,120 This is Costco. Yeah, which is where we buy diapers. 60 00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,621 Since when? 61 00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:46,583 Do you remember when we adopted that baby a few months back? 62 00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:50,295 Since then. [Parking Brake Clicks] 63 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:51,838 Mitchell is a snob. 64 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,632 No. N-No, I-I'm discerning. 65 00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:57,510 Official slogan for snobs. 66 00:02:57,595 --> 00:02:59,637 When we first met, he wouldn't even look at me... 67 00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:03,892 because I was a hick from the farm in Missouri, and he's a big city mouse. 68 00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,519 [Stammers] Who says "city mouse"? 69 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:09,522 Country mice. 70 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,441 [Bat Cracks] Ground ball to short. Sanchez- 71 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:14,235 I think I'm gonna go wait in the car. Okay. 72 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,197 - Hey, if you're on your way out, can you grab the garbage? - I got it. 73 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,866 - Okay. We got it. - [Man On TV] So, one out left- 74 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,868 - He's a little jumpy. - Oh, go figure- 75 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,913 a teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad. 76 00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:27,999 Thought we were past all that. I'm all about- 77 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,461 I'm all about taking it to the next level. Really? 78 00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,630 Thought you were all about keeping it real. Yes. 79 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,883 But the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. 80 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:40,970 - Did you really not know that? - You haven't exactly taken it to the next level with my dad. 81 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,722 What are you talking about? 82 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:46,476 We've been married for 16 years, and you still walk on eggshells around him. 83 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,770 What? Are you kidding? 84 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,648 Jay and I are total buds. 85 00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,151 [Doorbell Rings] [Dog Barks] 86 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,612 You-You want to just hang out? 87 00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:01,616 Brought six friends, so that just- [Chuckles] 88 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,660 That's- 89 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,372 [Man] ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 90 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:11,418 ♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey ♪ 91 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:14,629 ♪ Hey, hey Hey ♪♪ 92 00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,679 Manny brought his favorite game to play with Luke. 93 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,597 It's called Empire. 94 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:27,350 You use strategy to expand territories and take over the world. 95 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:30,186 Luke is gonna love that. He's out back playing. 96 00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:32,897 Do you need me to get you something while I'm out shopping? 97 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,233 That's such a nice offer, but I think we're good. Thanks. 98 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,569 Okay. What about this? 99 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,863 You don't even say "Hello" to Gloria and Manny? 100 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:43,241 Hi, Gloria and Manny. Okay, Mom, what about this? 101 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:46,661 No. You're wearing a dress. [Gasps] Mom, come on. 102 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,997 What? It's gonna kill you to look like a girl for one afternoon? 103 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,958 But it's a wedding for some friend of yours I never even heard of. 104 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,794 It's non-negotiable. You can borrow a dress of Haley's again. 105 00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:59,007 No. That sends an ugly message- that I'm Haley. 106 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,468 You know, instead of trying to force me to wear a dress, 107 00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:04,471 why don't you worry about getting Luke to wear some pants? 108 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:09,225 What? Why does he do this? 109 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,853 Luke! 110 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,897 Pants! Come on! 111 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,653 [Phil] Jay and I are buds, for sure- 112 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:24,073 but with kind of, um, an invisible asterisk. 113 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:27,410 Um, he's not, uh- He's not a talker. 114 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:30,246 Or-Or a hugger. 115 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:33,082 Once he ran over my foot with his car. 116 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,418 To-To be fair, he had just given up smoking, 117 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,921 but basically we're-we're buds. 118 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,090 Do you have to just stand there? 119 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,426 You're making me feel uneasy. 120 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,386 Oh. 121 00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:47,138 [Clears Throat] 122 00:05:47,223 --> 00:05:49,140 Oh, for God's sake. Sit here. Here. 123 00:05:49,225 --> 00:05:52,101 Hold this wing like this while I adjust this. 124 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,103 Okay. 125 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,439 Come on. Here. 126 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,784 Not too hard. [Muttering] 127 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,205 Alex, why don't you come shopping with me? 128 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:15,333 Maybe I can help you find something that you like. 129 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,835 That's a really nice offer, but it's not really her thing. 130 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,171 Actually, I'd love to go. 131 00:06:20,256 --> 00:06:22,048 See, you don't know what my thing is. 132 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,967 You have no idea what my thing is. 133 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,969 I know what your thing is. 134 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,513 Your thing is to provoke, just like your sister's thing... 135 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,599 is to never come out of her room, and your brother's thing- 136 00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:33,685 Well, there's your brother's thing. 137 00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:38,022 Luke! Put 'em on! Mm-hmm. 138 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:40,692 [Phil] The thing about me and Jay is our relationship's... 139 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:45,238 always been stuck in that, um- that primal place where it started. 140 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,907 You know, he's the old silverback protecting his females, 141 00:06:47,992 --> 00:06:52,245 then along comes this younger, stronger gorilla swinging in, beating his chest. 142 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:55,081 You know, naturally, the ape ladies come running, 143 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,417 presenting their nice scarlet behinds. 144 00:06:57,501 --> 00:07:00,253 Papa ape wants to stop all that, but he can't. 145 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:03,798 You know? That's-That's life. I'm not the enemy. 146 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:07,010 The enemy is poachers. 147 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,766 That'll do it. Don't touch it. 148 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:17,270 [Model Clattering] 149 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,565 All right. 150 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:27,363 You wanna go fly it? Sure. 151 00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:33,786 Oh. Hey, I got the toothpaste and the soap. 152 00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:36,581 Good. Now we can open that general store. 153 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,458 I thought we were just here to get diapers. 154 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:41,794 We had a saying on the farm: As long as you're bringing the mule to the market, you- 155 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,921 I feel you rolling your eyes at me. 156 00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:46,758 We met at one of Pepper's legendary game nights. 157 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,218 I remember Mitchell because he kept rolling his eyes... 158 00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:51,763 every time I would get a little boisterous. I did not. 159 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:54,098 A little bit. 160 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:57,185 Yeah, maybe a little bit. Anyway, we were- 161 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,937 we were playing charades, and I had no idea how to act out my clue. 162 00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:02,273 And all I could think of to do was- 163 00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,526 And without missing a beat, Cam says- 164 00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,487 Casablanca. 165 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,697 All I did was this- Casablanca. 166 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,325 Casablanca. 167 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,535 Can we just please get the diapers and get out of here? 168 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,663 Fine, but I wanna stop by the wine section first. 169 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:19,624 [Chuckles] Wait. There's a wine section? 170 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,210 Yeah, a really good one- just past the tires. No way. 171 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:25,213 They do not have- Oh, my God. 172 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,508 Oh, my- Cam. Cam. The paper shredder I wanted. 173 00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:30,218 Huh? Confetti and crosscut. 174 00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,553 Yep. [Chuckles] 175 00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:36,057 [Gasps] Oh, my God. Amazing. 176 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,809 Yeah. 177 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:44,232 Cam, what is this place? 178 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:47,068 [Timer Dings] 179 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,029 Those cookies smell like heaven. Your own recipe? 180 00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:52,031 No, I just throw 'em in the oven. 181 00:08:52,116 --> 00:08:55,118 And added the secret ingredient of caring? 182 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,078 Sure. 183 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,080 So, you and Luke having a good time? 184 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,541 I don't know. He won't come out of his box. 185 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:05,628 Maybe I'll just stay here and spend some time with my sister. 186 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:09,215 Oh, right. I guess technically I would be your stepsister. 187 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:13,010 My mother says we are never to use the word "step" because it means "not real." 188 00:09:13,137 --> 00:09:15,304 And we are a real family. Mmm. 189 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,641 So what is the matter, Claire? 190 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,812 - What? - You seem sad. 191 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,066 It's just stuff with Alex. You know, kid stuff. 192 00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:28,818 [Scoffs] Kids. 193 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,988 You don't have to tell me. My school is full of them. 194 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:37,452 I was thinking after lunch we can go and do a little shopping. 195 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,454 I'm not getting a dress. 196 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,497 I don't care. I'm not your mother. 197 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,666 I know. You're my grandmother. 198 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,918 Step-grandmother. 199 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,755 Anyways, today, think of me as a girlfriend. 200 00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:52,341 Two girls out for an afternoon of fun. 201 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,928 What do you usually do with your girlfriends? 202 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:59,557 I don't know. We go out. We talk, drink wine. 203 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,434 Can I drink wine? No. 204 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,352 Some friend. 205 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,773 Well, you can still talk to me about anything. 206 00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,400 Yeah, adults always say that, but they don't mean it. 207 00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:12,945 When my mom says I can ask her anything, I really can't. 208 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,947 She just freaks out. 209 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:18,618 I won't freak out. Shoot. 210 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,620 Okay. 211 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,455 How many men have you slept with? 212 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,082 Eight. Next. 213 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,507 Now can I try it? No. 214 00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,969 I should get one of those. I've always loved planes. 215 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:41,224 If things had gone a little differently in my life, I think I would have been a pilot. 216 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,811 Hey, what would happen if you turned the remote off and then back on real fast? 217 00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,688 Yeah, you'd have been a great pilot. 218 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:51,317 So, can you do a- Can you do a loop-de-loop? If I wanted to. 219 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,486 No way! Can I try it? 220 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,488 No. 221 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:01,118 I can see why you like this. It's so peaceful. 222 00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:05,456 It's like the whole world just... disappears out here. 223 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,086 I remember this one summer- I'll tell you what. 224 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,838 There's another trick called "threading the needle." 225 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:14,257 I used to do it with Claire and Mitch when they were kids. 226 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,008 You wanna try it? How's it go? 227 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,010 You grab one of those hoops over there... 228 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:21,848 and go to the far, far, far end of the field... 229 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,767 and stand there, and I fly the plane through it. 230 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,562 Um, that sounds awesome! 231 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,605 And then I get a chance flying it? No. 232 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,066 Okay. [Clears Throat] 233 00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,328 How's this? 234 00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,372 Not far enough. Go on. 235 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,875 - Okay. Further down. - You can't go too far. 236 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,460 Right. Okay, I get it. I get it. 237 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,634 How's this? Good. 238 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:02,013 Now stand still. Don't move. 239 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:05,600 Okay, let's do it. Whoo! 240 00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,269 Whoo! I love it! 241 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:11,814 I love... it! [Laughing] 242 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,076 You drove a plane into my face. 243 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,120 You must have moved. I told you to stay still. 244 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,122 I didn't move. Try not to talk. 245 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,417 I want to make sure nothing's broken. [Groaning] 246 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:35,838 Alex and I can't just disagree. I mean, she has to turn everything into a fight. 247 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,090 Hmm. A strong, independent woman. 248 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,718 Sounds like somebody else I know. 249 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,721 I was never hostile though. I mean, this whole thing with the dress- 250 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,723 Never had this problem with Haley. 251 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,935 Maybe Alex doesn't want to compete with her big sister. 252 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,562 Maybe she's trying to create her own identity. 253 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:53,898 Put her in a dress, and she disappears. 254 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:57,693 For one afternoon? I wouldn't give up being myself for even one second. 255 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,196 Wow. 256 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,823 Sometimes it's hard to remember you're only 10 years old. 257 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,368 And three-quarters. Yeah. 258 00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:08,245 [Phone Rings, Beeps] [Clears Throat] Hello? 259 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,498 Hey, it's Mitchell. Do you guys eat olives? Olives? 260 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,291 Really good olives? Yeah. 261 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,001 You got it. [Phone Beeps] 262 00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,504 Mitchell, I found the diapers. They're over here. 263 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,756 Cameron, guess what I found? 264 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,009 Coffins. They sell baby formula and they sell coffins. 265 00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:24,470 You can buy literally buy everything you need from birth to death. 266 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,847 Oh, my God. Look at these diapers. 267 00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:28,808 [Gasps] Look how cheap they are! 268 00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:32,144 Oh. You know what we should do? We should get enough for the next year or two, right? 269 00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:34,230 Where would we keep them? 270 00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:37,775 They sell sheds. Really? You want to buy a diaper shed? 271 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,444 We're those guys now? The guys with a diaper shed? 272 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:44,323 Just grab two more. I'm not grabbing two more, Mitchell. It's time to go. 273 00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:47,493 Come on, come on. We need, uh- Hey, excuse me. 274 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,829 Where did you get that flatbed thing? Over there. 275 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:52,456 Go grab one of those. Really? 276 00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:54,625 Yeah. Get two. 277 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,380 I'm in the applesauce aisle. 278 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,716 So, anyways, after charades, we went out for coffee. 279 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:07,138 And I learned that he loves art. He plays the piano. He speaks French. 280 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:10,474 Un peu. You see? I-I misjudged him. 281 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,560 Yeah, I'm sort of like Costco. 282 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:15,396 I'm big, I'm not fancy, and I dare you to not like me. 283 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,606 Yeah, and I'm kinda more like that, um- 284 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:21,485 [Sighs] What is the name of that little shop we went to in Paris? 285 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:24,113 You are such a snob. 286 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,951 Casablanca. 287 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,912 I have a small flower on my ankle... 288 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:36,333 and a tiny little butterfly on my... thigh. 289 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,710 How high up? 290 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:40,755 Pretty high. Did you do it to look sexy? 291 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:44,008 No- Did you do it for a guy? Does Grandpa like it? 292 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,427 No, no and yes. 293 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,554 That's gross. Mmm. 294 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,098 Let's go back to your piercings. No, no, no. 295 00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:55,019 I've answered enough of your questions. Now it's your turn to answer one. 296 00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,812 What is it? 297 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,814 Why you don't want to wear a dress? 298 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:02,151 Because I don't want to look like Haley and her stupid friends. 299 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,737 I wear dresses and I don't look like Haley. 300 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:08,115 You are Haley, just 40 years older. 301 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,533 Ten. Twenty. 302 00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:13,287 Deal. Alex, why are you fighting me on this? 303 00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,832 Just- It doesn't matter if I dress up. I'm not pretty like Haley and you. 304 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,919 That's ridiculous! You're beautiful. I'm not. 305 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:22,838 But that's okay. I'm the smart one. 306 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:27,384 Mmm. The cute busboy doesn't know that you're smart. What? 307 00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:30,763 He's been smiling at you every time he comes to the table. He does not! 308 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:34,016 Why do you think we are the only people with bread? 309 00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:39,980 Look. One day you're going to want to date a cute guy like that. 310 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:43,442 And when that day comes, you're going to want to look beautiful, 311 00:15:43,527 --> 00:15:45,402 and then you'll wear a dress. 312 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,740 So, you ever kiss another girl? 313 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:52,660 That's no way to talk to your grandmother. 314 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:56,080 Was my mom hard on me growing up? Yeah, she was. 315 00:15:56,164 --> 00:16:00,960 But you know what? Back then everything was Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem. 316 00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:02,711 [Door Closes] They didn't understand- 317 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,421 ¡Hola! We're back. [Alex] Hello. 318 00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:07,049 Hey, how'd it go? It was great. 319 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,426 - Did you have fun with Luke? - Well, not- 320 00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:11,178 We had a great time. 321 00:16:11,263 --> 00:16:14,890 Alex, I've been thinking, and... 322 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:18,435 if you don't want to wear a dress to the wedding, it's not the end of the world. 323 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,564 It's all right. I bought one. 324 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,566 [Both Laugh] 325 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:26,569 Do you see how she has to provoke me? We'll talk about it next week. 326 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,821 [Pounding On Door] [Jay] Claire! 327 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,781 Clear the way. Coming through. Ow! 328 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,533 Coming through. Easy. Easy, fella. Ow! 329 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,743 I need to rest my face. You're fine. 330 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,078 You'll be all right. Hang on. 331 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,913 Oh, my God! Get the door. 332 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,081 Ah! Dad? 333 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,541 Little accident. Nothing big. 334 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,918 I was in a plane crash. What happened? 335 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,129 We were threading the needle, and somebody moved. 336 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:49,717 - No, I didn't. You did it on purpose. - That's the painkiller talking. 337 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,468 He's a little loopy. [Groaning] 338 00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:53,304 How bad is it? Well, the wing is cracked, 339 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,973 - the propeller's bent, but I can- I can- - I mean Phil. 340 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:59,143 I was in a plane crash. Thanks, Dad. 341 00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,395 I didn't ask him to be there. He insisted. 342 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,397 He took a chance. This is what happened. 343 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:06,150 - Kind of like the time you ran over his foot. - You ran over his foot? 344 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,360 That was an accident. You know, Dad, you did it on purpose. 345 00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,322 - We all saw the tire marks on the lawn. - I had just quit smoking. 346 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,574 [Phil Groans] See, you're upsetting your husband. 347 00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,618 Water. I'll get it. 348 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,039 Ay. You okay? 349 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:23,209 Gloria! Thank God you're here. 350 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,211 Don't worry. I'm here too. 351 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:27,630 Who's this? 352 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,632 Wasn't my fault. [Scoffs] 353 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,676 I have seen you thread the needle a million times. You never miss. 354 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:36,222 Yeah. I must be getting old. Why don't you just admit it? You never liked Phil. 355 00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,265 Put that down. You do not get a cookie. 356 00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:42,394 I like Phil. It's just that sometimes he tries too hard, you know? 357 00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:45,064 And it's just kind of- [Whispering] Irritating. 358 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:48,567 Okay, maybe he tries too hard because you make zero effort with him. 359 00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:50,903 You know what? In the 16 years that we've been married, 360 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:54,365 have you one time told him that you liked him? 361 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,742 Not in those exact words, no. No. 362 00:17:56,826 --> 00:18:00,329 Not in any words, Dad. How do you think that makes me feel? 363 00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:04,041 You've never told your son that you love him? 364 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,585 Whoa, whoa. When did we jump to love? 365 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,629 And he's technically not my son. 366 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:12,091 Ah. So that means that you don't love Manny either? Sure, I do. 367 00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:15,636 I mean, believe me, when I was in that park, I really wished Manny was there. 368 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:20,724 For what? So that you could fly the plane into his head? Huh? 369 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:24,061 Dad, thanks so much for bringing Phil home. 370 00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:27,022 I found one of your little flaps in his hair. So- 371 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:32,027 Actually, this is called an aileron. 372 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:34,363 It controls the horizontal- Because that's what matters right now. 373 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:37,283 Bye, Dad. 374 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,962 - Hey, Phil. - Jay. 375 00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,550 [Groans] What are you, made of china? 376 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,927 [Groaning] 377 00:18:57,012 --> 00:19:01,098 Phil, I just want you to know I'm sorry. 378 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,809 And whether I, uh, missed or you moved- 379 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:06,687 I didn't. Either way. 380 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,939 I just want to say that I like you. 381 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,650 Really? Yeah. 382 00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:13,736 What do you like about me? 383 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,158 You're a nice guy. 384 00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:22,202 Try real hard. 385 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:24,330 I do. 386 00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:27,583 And you're a good dad. Hey, I'm a good dad. Come here. 387 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,711 Come here, you. [Groans] 388 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,715 This feels so right. [Groans] [Door Opens] 389 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,717 What's going on? 390 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:40,596 There was a little accident, but Jay's telling Phil how much he loves him. 391 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,806 Oh. Well, that's nice for Phil. 392 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:45,059 That's great, since he's never said anything like that to my boyfriend. 393 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,102 - Let it go. - No, it's not okay. 394 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,938 No, Mitch is right. Go in there too, Cam. Come on. 395 00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:51,607 You're kidding. Okay. 396 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,317 - Jay! - I'm gonna get this. 397 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,069 Come on in, Cam. Just a little hug. 398 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,570 - Get in here. - Say it. 399 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,906 - [Jay] Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! - Say it! Say it! 400 00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,699 I like you too, Cam. Aw! 401 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,826 What do you like about him? Oh, geez. 402 00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:04,453 Where did you get that camera? 403 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:07,206 Only the greatest store on earth. [Laughs] 404 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,792 [Whispers] Thanks, Dad. 405 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,418 Manny, picture! Get in there too. 406 00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:13,670 [Phil] Get in here, mi amigo. Oh! 407 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,756 Stay still. Say "cheese." 408 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,424 Don't push it. [All] Cheese! 409 00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:18,550 Picture. 410 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,594 Cheese! [Gloria] Cheese. Queso. 411 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,054 [Gloria Laughing] [Chattering, Laughing] 412 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,598 [Phil] Oh, boy! [Laughing Continues] 413 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:27,226 [Phil] Doesn't it feel like these arms could go around the world? 414 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,269 [Cameron Groans] I think I strained something. 415 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,942 I always wanted a daughter- 416 00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:36,944 to dress her up in pretty dresses, 417 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:40,364 do her hair, her nails, her makeup. 418 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,449 [Laughs] 419 00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:45,994 No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, 420 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:49,415 I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. 421 00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,417 [Laughs] 422 00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,419 Ay, but just for a few times. 423 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,129 I didn't want to mess with his head. 424 00:20:55,213 --> 00:20:59,883 When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died. 425 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:09,893 ENGLISH - US - PSDH